


now comes the night

by thunderylee



Category: Good Charlotte
Genre: Canon Universe, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Twincest, past joel/hilary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-11-09
Updated: 2005-11-09
Packaged: 2019-02-08 01:48:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12854103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thunderylee/pseuds/thunderylee
Summary: *Insert obvious summary that doesn’t sound like I just wanted an excuse to kill off Hilary Duff and write GC twincest here.*





	now comes the night

**Author's Note:**

> reposted from agck.

Staring at the off-white swirling of the hotel ceiling, Joel stretched once more to relax his aching muscles. Tonight’s show had been brutal; he needed more than both of his hands to count how many times Benji had purposely bumped into him in the midst of his hyperactive stage-bouncing. Of course, there had been the crowd itself, all of whom seemed to have overdosed on energy drinks or possibly crack, which kept Joel bouncing as much as his twin until the encore.

He was paying for it now, and he’d still be paying for it tomorrow. The clock by his bedside read 2:47am, and that was west coast time. The entire band was scheduled to appear on the local alternative-music morning show at 7:15 with a few promotional appearances afterwards, and if he was lucky he’d catch a nap before tomorrow night’s performance. Twas the life of a rock star, though, and one would think that after over a decade he’d be used to it by now.

Joel snorted out loud at the fact that he had just thought the word ’twas’ as he rolled over slowly but painfully to reach for his water. His throat was unbearably dry; singing for four hours straight would do that. Benji liked to tease that he was just getting old, despite them being the same damn age, but Joel could see some truth in the statement. They definitely weren’t kids anymore, although growing up hadn’t seemed to cramped Benji’s style in the slightest.

And here Joel was dating an eighteen-year-old. He’s heard all the cradle-robbing jokes and listened to all the taunting songs, including a special improv performance by his own brother of The Vandals’ ‘Fourteen’. Despite the age difference, he really did like her, and the fact that she was also in the business helped their relationship tremendously. Absence made the heart grow fonder and all that.

Just when his brain was about to swim further into the ocean of profoundness, Benji slammed open their adjoining door so hard that it bounced off of the wall. Joel was grateful for the interruption, although he would never admit it.

“Fuck, Benj,” he said in an irritated tone. “I could have been jacking off or something.”

“Turn on your TV.”

Joel, who had expected a nasty retort of some sort, turned to look at his brother and noticed the completely serious look on his face. Wordlessly, he ripped the remote off of the nightstand and flicked on the television. A picture of his girlfriend greeted him, along with a roaring fire to the side that appeared as if it was engulfing a motor home.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Benji pacing back and forth beside his bed, wringing his hands nervously. Joel had never seen his brother like this before, and it apparently had something to do with Hilary being on the news. Trying to focus his attention on what the newswoman was saying, all he could hear was Benji muttering ‘fuck’ over and over again under his breath.

“Shit, Joel,” Benji said finally, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. Joel could feel his eyes on him. “Her trailer exploded. Nobody knows why. She… she was in it.”

“ _Hilary had just returned to the trailer after a long day of filming when one of her costars noticed flames emerging from the bathroom window. The fire department was called immediately, but it was too late. After almost an hour of fighting the raging fire, firefighters could gain access to the trailer and found the eighteen-year-old actress lying dead on the bathroom floor, her face hollowed out from where her makeup had melted to her skin._ ”

Dead.

“Is this a joke?” Joel asked quietly. He slowly craned his neck to look at his brother and raised his voice. “Is this a fucking joke?”

“No, Joel, no.” Benji looked absolutely frantic, shaking his head vigorously with wide eyes. “I wish it was. This is horrible. I… I don’t know what to say.”

Joel abruptly stood up from the bed and walked over to where his cell phone was resting on the desk, plugged into the wall to charge. Fourteen missed calls.

“I talked to our manager.” Benji’s voice sounded very far away. “He cancelled our interview and promos but I told him to hold off on the show tomorrow night because, well, I didn’t know how you would feel about performing. Hil – her mom left me a message in case you weren’t checking your phone and said the funer – services are going to be held tomorrow. She sounded awful, Joel.”

Joel nodded because it seemed like the right thing to do. He wanted Benji to continue talking simply to keep the silence from allowing reality to set in. Hilary was dead. She was _dead_. His girlfriend was –

“Say something,” Benji pleaded.

“I’m gonna take a shower.” It was the first thing he could think of, and the words were coming out of his mouth before they had even finished forming in his head.

He could hear his brother nodding. “Okay.”

Joel placed his hands on the edge of the desk and hung his head briefly, willing his mind to clear enough to walk to the bathroom. _Lying dead on the bathroom floor_. Perhaps a shower wasn’t the best idea at this point, but Benji was shit at sympathy and would probably end up talking himself into a hole if Joel remained in the room. Besides, he was dirty from tonight’s performance and needed a shower anyway.

Once in the bathroom, which was fairly large for a hotel room, Joel stripped off his sweaty T-shirt and jeans and turned on the water as hot as he could stand it. It stung his body at first, but it only took a few seconds for him to get used to it. Letting the scorching spray pound directly onto the top of his head and work its way down his sore back and legs, he held his hands on either side of the wall underneath the showerhead to brace himself.

An hour later, he was sitting in the fetal position on the other side of the tub. The water was still hot, but not as much as the tears that were stinging his eyes. The showerhead was aimed directly at his face now, washing away any evidence of his mourning.

He vaguely heard a knock at the door over the force of the water and the pounding in his ears.

“Joel? You alive in there?”

Joel almost smiled. Leave it to Benji to think that Joel would have melted and disappeared down the drain. _Her face hollowed out from where her makeup had melted to her skin_.

He opened his mouth to speak and was immediately silenced by a mouthful of water. He tried to make his head turn away from the spray to answer his brother but it would not obey.

“Answer me or I’m coming in there.”

The part of Joel’s brain that sent messages to the rest of his body had apparently taken a vacation. Then again, if somebody had to burst in on him when he was crying in the shower, he was glad it was Benji.

The door slowly creaked open and Joel caught Benji’s concerned face in his peripheral vision, clouded by the steam from the shower.

“Shit, Joel.”

That seemed to be the phrase of the night. Joel almost smiled again. He noticed Benji enter the bathroom completely, closing the door behind him and taking a seat on the toilet lid. Joel didn’t look at him; his eyes were trained on a spot on the wall above the showerhead as though it had all the answers.

Benji buried his face in his hands. “I don’t know what to say. ‘I’m sorry’ is only appropriate for people who don’t really give a shit.”

Joel inwardly agreed.

“I-I… fuck.”

His body finally responding to his brain’s orders, Joel nodded.

After carefully examining Joel’s face, Benji rose from the toilet and knelt by the side of the tub, wrapping his arms around his brother’s shoulders despite being fully dressed.

“You’re getting wet.” Joel was surprised at how young he sounded, his voice having regressed back to the pre-pubescent stage.

“I don’t care.”

Joel reached up a water-wrinkled hand to grab weakly onto Benji’s arm and Benji held him tighter. He could feel Benji’s face resting lightly on his shoulder, his piercings scraping against the skin as his brother continuously bit his lip.

“You can cry, man. It’s okay. I’ve got you.”

He felt Benji’s lips press against his shoulder in the chastest of brotherly kisses, something they hadn’t done in years. That small piece of affection opened a dam inside of Joel and the next thing he knew he was fighting back a cascade of tears, his head falling to lay on Benji’s soaked arm as his twin lifted a hand to cradle his head.

“Your hair is fucking gross.”

This time Joel did smile, and a chuckle escaped through the midst of sobs. “I know. Haven’t gotten around to washing it yet.”

Benji’s warm embrace disappeared and Joel suddenly felt very cold even in the hot shower. He felt shampoo being applied to his head and lathered with gentle hands. It felt nice, better than any of the times professional hairdressers had washed his hair.

“Lean forward.”

Joel obliged automatically, squeezing his eyes shut as the spray forced the foam out of his hair. Benji’s hands continued to massage his head until every drop of shampoo had gone, neither twin making a sound.

“Do you want to get out now?”

Shaking his head, Joel scooted forward and reached for the bar of soap on the ledge of the tub. Before he could make his hand to close around it, Benji swiped his fingers away and retrieved the soap himself.

“Benj,” Joel protested.

“Shut the fuck up and let me take care of you.”

Joel sat mutely as Benji brought the soap to his neck and shoulder blades, making swirling motions and pressing rather firmly. He arched his torso when Benji hit a particularly sensitive spot in the center of his back, and Benji abandoned the soap in favor of working out the kink with his fingers.

“Mmm,” said Joel quietly. “That’s been bugging me all fucking night.”

Benji briefly removed his hand to toss the soap into Joel’s lap. “You can wash the front yourself. I don’t feel like touching your shit.”

Sensing the humor in Benji’s voice, Joel smirked. “But you _love_ the cock, Benj,” he taunted. “Is mine not good enough for you?”

The fingers paused on his back. “Don’t fucking tease me, Joel.”

Joel whipped around so fast that he almost smacked Benji in the forehead. Meeting his twin’s eyes, he knew the little bastard was serious. Joel felt his jaw drop slightly and searched for any sign of bullshit in the warm brown eyes that matched his own. Finding none, he did the first thing that came to his suddenly clear mind. He kissed him.

Benji didn’t pull away; in fact, he leaned in closer and cupped Joel’s face with his hand. The lip rings felt strange but nice against Joel’s bottom lip, as did Benji’s fingers in his hair and his thumb lightly rubbing the spot of cheek right before his ear.

Much to his surprise, Joel was the one who deepened the kiss, probing Benji’s lips with his tongue until they parted. He felt himself harden as Benji’s tongue made contact with his, swirling in the slowest of motions. It was the most erotic kiss he had ever experienced, and it only made sense that it was with Benji.

Joel abruptly broke the kiss when he could no longer ignore the pain in his side from his twisted position. Benji, who still had his eyes closed, instantly got the wrong idea and spoke before Joel had a chance to explain.

“Shit, Joel, I’m sorry,” he said, covering his face with his hands. “Fuck, I -”

“No,” said Joel sternly, and Benji dropped his hands to reveal wide eyes.

“No?” Benji repeated in a small voice.

Joel scooted back to the edge of the tub and approached his brother from a more comfortable angle. “No regrets,” he said almost inaudibly before kissing him again.

Benji moaned from deep in his throat as he returned the kiss enthusiastically, threading his fingers through Joel’s wet hair. Bringing his arms up to wrap around his brother’s neck, Joel urged him closer in an obvious plea for more.

Understanding completely, Benji removed his lips from Joel’s mouth in favor of his jaw line, neck, and finally his ear. “I’m gonna fall in the tub,” he whispered, chuckling softly into Joel’s ear.

“That’s the point,” Joel replied, tugging at Benji’s t-shirt with both hands.

“Mmm,” was Benji’s response as he climbed into the tub and knelt in front of his twin.

“Benj, your clothes.”

Benji looked down as though he hadn’t realized he was still dressed. “Gives you something to do,” he said with a smirk. “I’m not doing all of the work, you know. Lazy asshole.”

Grinning, Joel reached out to peel Benji’s drenched t-shirt over his head and toss it across the room. His hands roamed up and down the newly exposed chest before him as Benji lowered himself on top of Joel and captured his lips again.

Joel groaned into Benji’s mouth as he felt his brother’s hardness press against his, separated only by a thin, wet layer of shorts. He instinctively arched into him, and Benji thrust once before he pulled away and looked down at Joel with questioning eyes.

“I thought you didn’t feel like touching my shit?” Joel teased.

Benji leaned in and placed his lips right at the entrance to Joel’s ear as his hand slid down Joel’s wet belly to brush his fingers against hard flesh.

“I lied.”

Joel tossed his head back and let out a moan worthy of a porn star as Benji grasped his cock and squeezed from base to tip. His twin obviously knew what he was doing; his strokes were firm enough to feel fucking good but not fast enough to make him come.

Benji’s tongue launched an oral assault on Joel’s ear, leading Joel to dig his fingers into Benji’s back in an attempt to speed up his efforts. Benji’s body shook with silent laughter as he began kissing his way down Joel’s collarbone and the center of his chest.

“Shit, Benj,” hissed Joel, lifting his hands to Benji’s face in order to halt him from his intentions. “You don’t have to.”

His own eyes stared back at him from between his legs. “I know I don’t have to. I want to. Now shut up and enjoy it.”

“Fuck!” The word echoed off of the walls as Benji took Joel’s length into his mouth, pressing his tongue along the underside and closing his lips to create a tight suction.

Joel couldn’t help it; he thrust both hands into Benji’s hair and pushed down as he lifted his hips, fucking his mouth. He felt Benji’s hands on his hips doing the same thing, and he almost laughed out loud at the irony. All he could do, though, was gasp and swear and moan his brother’s name as Benji sucked him with no mercy, like the only thing that mattered to him was getting Joel off.

Joel felt one of Benji’s hands slide down his ass, and he screamed and came immediately when a finger grazed his entrance. He lifted his head and watched through hooded lids as Benji made a great show of swallowing and grinned like the Cheshire cat.

“Asshole,” muttered Joel, smiling as he basked in the afterglow of his orgasm.

“Fuck you,” replied Benji just as affectionately, crawling up Joel’s body to lie on top of him once again.

“You want to.”

Benji raised his eyes to look at Joel. “Yeah, I do.”

“I know.”

“So you gonna let me?” Benji’s voice implied that he thought he already knew the answer to his question.

Joel smirked. “Not here. This tub is killing my back, and besides, I think I’m turning into a prune.”

Benji sat up so fast that Joel thought he was in a rush to get out of the tub, but he simply remained with a look of disbelief on his face.

“Are you fucking serious? You want me to…?”

“Christ, Benj, after what just happened between us, is there any doubt in your mind?”

Benji turned the water off and stood. He grabbed two towels from the rack and threw one to his brother before stepping out of the shower and drying off. “No.”

“If there’s no doubt in your mind, then why -”

“No, I’m not going to fuck you,” said Benji sternly, snatching his shirt from where it had landed on the sink.

“Why the fuck not?” exclaimed Joel. “You fucked Paul.”

Benji spun his head around and glared at his brother. “That didn’t mean anything.”

“You fucked Tony!”

“He didn’t mean anything either! And besides, he fucked me.”

“Still.” Joel was completely confused, especially now that Benji looked like he was about to rip apart his shirt as he squeezed water out of it over the sink.

Standing in the tub after a quick dry off, Joel fastened the towel around his waist and approached his twin. “What, now my _ass_ isn’t good enough for you?”

He honestly thought Benji was going to punch him in the face. Instead, he untwisted his shirt and flung open the door. “No, Joel. I just refuse to be your rebound dick.”

The door slammed in Joel’s face, but Joel opened it immediately and stormed after him.

“Fucking Christ, Benji, you’re harder to figure out than Hilary!”

Benji paused in the threshold of the adjoining doors and cast a glance over his shoulder. “Yeah, what about Hilary, huh? You think you’re gonna forget about her if I fuck your brains out? No, Joel, you’re going to wake up with me by your side and wonder what the fuck you were thinking and hate me for taking advantage of you.”

“That’s not true,” said Joel quietly.

“You’re all fucked up!” Benji was screaming now. “I saw you in there. You’re mourning. You’re fucking _mourning_ and I had to go and… and…” Benji bowed his head and took a breath. “I just don’t think I could take it if you don’t mean it, Joel. Where Paul and Tony weren’t anything but a quick nut, you’re… you’re everything.”

Joel shook his head. “I wish I had known that,” he muttered, sitting on the edge of his bed and looking up at his brother. “Benji, do you know why I can’t sing ‘The Truth’ in front of anyone but you?”

Benji cocked his head. “I always thought it had something to do with Dad.”

“No.” Joel chuckled, amused by Benji’s naivety. “It’s _you_ , asshole. I wrote it for _you_.”

Benji closed his eyes, and Joel could tell he was replying the words of that particular song in his mind. Suddenly his eyes popped open.

“You want the truth? Fine, have your fucking truth. Paul let me fuck him when I confessed that I was in love with you. Tony fucked my pain away when you got together with Hilary. And now you’re gonna sit here and tell me you wrote that fucking song for me a _year_ ago?”

“Actually, I wrote it ten years ago. It just took me that long to sing it to you.”

“You…” Benji trailed off as he took in the information. “I’m an asshole,” he declared.

“Yes, yes you are.” Joel grinned. “And so is Paul because he knew the entire time. He was the one who suggested I write it.”

Benji’s jaw dropped. “I have a right mind to go kick his ass right now.”

“But you won’t,” said Joel knowingly. “Besides, you can thank him in the morning.”

“Oh, can I?” Benji mocked. “Why the hell would I want to thank him?”

“Come here and I’ll show you.”

Benji raised an eyebrow. ‘I’m still not fucking you tonight.”

“I’m kind of glad for that,” Joel admitted. “I didn’t want to have to try to explain to Hilary’s parents why I was walking funny at her funeral.”

Snorting, Benji walked towards the bed and stopped short right before he sat down. “My shorts are still soaked. I don’t want to get your bed wet.”

“So take them off.”

Benji shook his head as he reached for the waistband of his shorts. “Shit, Joel, you sure are fucking demanding.”

“You ain’t seen nothing yet.”

Joel watched with a smirk as Benji lowered his shorts and exposed a cock that looked strikingly similar to Joel’s but distinctly different. And it was still hard. In one swift motion, Joel seized his brother by the hips and pulled him towards him, immediately wrapping his lips around the swollen head.

“ _Shit_ , Joel.”

The phrase of the night had an entirely different meaning now, one which made Joel understand Benji’s earlier enthusiasm in performing this same deed. He took his twin’s cock into his mouth as far as he could before pulling back and pushing in again. He wasn’t any kind of expert at giving head to a man, but Benji apparently had no complaints mixed within the growls and incoherent ramblings that were spilling out of his mouth.

Joel became so distracted by Benji’s outbursts that he lost his rhythm. Benji’s hands were on his head right away, gently holding him still as he thrust his cock in and out at a surprisingly slow pace. As he raised his eyes to see the distorted look on his brother’s face, he brought his hands up the sides of Benji’s legs to rest on his ass, where he gripped handfuls of flesh as he felt his twin get closer to release.

“ _Fuck_ … God, Joel… Shit, I’m gonna… fuck!”

Joel pulled his head back just in time to keep from choking on the thick fluid that shot into his mouth. He heard a strain of groans from above as he licked the tip of Benji’s cock until he had gotten every drop. Letting the now flaccid flesh fall out of his mouth, he leaned back and made a face as he swallowed forcefully.

Benji snorted. “It’s an acquired taste, man.”

“I see this.”

Benji leant over so that he was face-to-face with Joel and whispered ‘thank you’ before kissing him chastely on the lips and retreating to his adjoined room.

“Where are you going?” Joel asked, saddened at the thought of Benji sleeping anywhere but in his bed tonight.

“To get some dry shorts,” was the reply. Benji emerged a moment later with his cell phone, closing the door behind him and placing his phone on the desk next to Joel’s. “Don’t worry, it’s off.”

Joel grinned as he found a pair of semi-clean shorts by the bed and put them on before climbing under the warm covers of his bed. Benji followed suit, wrapping his arms around his brother as they got comfortable together.

“Our flight leaves at 10am,” Benji muttered softly into his ear. “We have about three hours before the alarm on my phone goes off.”

“ _Our_ flight?” Joel repeated. “You’re coming with me?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” replied Benji, pressing a kiss to Joel’s hairline. “Do you not want me to go?”

“No, no, I want you to go,” said Joel quickly, giving his brother’s arm a squeeze. “Thank you.”

Benji clasped Joel’s hand and weaved their fingers together. “You know I have to be there because you won’t cry in front of anyone else, and you need to mourn her properly.”

Joel smiled into his pillow. “Thanks, man.”

Benji was silent, and Joel thought he had drifted off to sleep until he heard the familiar singing voice.

“ _If this world is too much for you to take, lay it down and follow me. I’ll be everything you need in every way_.”

“Mmm,” said Joel, closing his eyes.

Benji suddenly sat up and rolled Joel over so that he was lying on his back. Benji’s eyes looked down at him through the darkness of the room, searching.

“You know I fucking love you, right?”

“Yeah, I know,” replied Joel. “I fucking love you too, you little bastard.”

“And we’re kicking Paul’s ass in the morning.”

“Whatever you say, Benj.”

Benji started to retort, but Joel placed his hand behind his head and pulled him down. Whatever his twin was about to say was instantly forgotten as Joel captured his lips, sucking slightly on a lip ring at random before sneaking his tongue inside his mouth.

“Mmm,” mumbled Benji as they broke apart.

“See, I can get you to shut up,” said Joel, turning back over onto his side and leaning back into Benji’s embrace.

Snorting his reply, Benji buried his face into the back of Joel’s neck and held him tight. “No regrets, right?”

“No regrets.”


End file.
